new chapter. hope you love it.

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*edited*

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It’s now been three months since the day Zander received that cursed phone call that changed his life. It’s been so dark and bleak, the only thing that now managed to make him smile was his children who were now five months old and little bundles of joy, Alex had even started teething and the worst part was the fact that she missed it all. She missed the little munchkins growing up.

Zander was now seated in their room, the room that she had spent less than three weeks in but it still held so many memories, from that first night when he brought her into his house, that fateful night when his little angels had been conceived.

He held their wedding photo in his hands and saw the sadness her eyes held on that day, his own eyes were cold that he felt it just by looking at the picture. He felt sad that he had not given her a better wedding, it should have been the day that she felt happiest, a day that should have held her happiest memories but instead he had given her so much grief that you could see the pain in her eye just by looking at her wedding photos.

He sadly smiled as he went through, the rest of the wedding photos until he suddenly came to a stop at a picture where both of them had real smiles on their faces; it was during the wedding reception when the crowd had chanted for them to kiss and after the kiss the photographer had managed to catch them with real smiles on their faces, she looked so beautiful in the picture. Tears rolled down his eyes as he started wishing that that was the smile that was present in all the other pictures.

He put down the wedding album and picked up another set of photos, this were the ones they had taken on their honeymoon after they had resolved all the confusion, she looked so beautiful in the pictures, she had a real smile and even glowed. In one when she just had on her bikini and was smiling mischievously at the camera Zander noticed the slight bulge of her stomach, come to think of it how could he have missed all those signs? What he regretted most was the fact that he was not with her when she was going through the pregnancy that he was not with her to hold her hand when she brought their children into this world.

He really hated himself for all the pain that he had caused her. And the worst thing in all of this was because of this she was now missing her children make different progresses in life. He was brought out of his thoughts by Alex who was crying through the baby monitor. Her put everything down and rushed to their room that was in the next door. He had used the adjoining door that was always open because he always wanted to be able to get to them as first as possible.

“Hey! Hey! Looks like my little man is up, let’s be quiet so as not to wake up your sister,” he spoke softly to his son who looked up at him and immediately went silent. He changed his diaper and put him in the next cot when Rose decided she also wanted to her daddy’s attention. Zander checked her diaper but it wasn’t wet so he just held her, her eyes always took his breath away, she had her mother’s eyes.

“I’m so sorry darling, that because of your daddy’s action your mom can’t be with you right now,” Zander said softly to his daughter before giving her a kiss on the forehead, just as Annabelle who by the way had proclaimed herself the children’s official nanny as soon as the doctor declared her fit. It had been a big argument between her and Isabella as to who would take care of the kids, so it had been decided that they would both do the job. So currently the two women lived in Zander’s house and had surprisingly came to like each other.

They both took the job of taking care of the two children very seriously and Zander had come to a conclusion the two would be very spoiled but he would do everything possible to make sure that they didn’t grow up to be brats.

“I have to go see Cara, please take care of my babies,” Zander said to Annabelle and his mother who walked into the nursery as he was heading to his room to get changed for his visit.

“You always say that when you leave, and we always give you the same answer,” his mother said smiling tenderly at her son, she could see the pain in her baby boys eyes.

“I know, I just like saying it, it reassures me,” Zander said smiling sadly at his mother. He gave the children a kiss before heading out of the room when Annabelle spoke.

“By the way don’t forget, Paul is coming over today,” She said to him.

“Yeah I remember,” Zander said and walked into his room. Things hadn’t been the same between him and Paul since everything had happened though Paul constantly told him that he didn’t blame him for what had happened, Zander still couldn’t forgive himself because no matter what anyone said it was his fault that everything had happened.

Time skip: thirty minutes later

Zander stared before him and felt tears well in his eyes; he had cried more in the last three months than he had all his life.

“I’m so sorry Cara, I wish that I hadn’t been such an asshole,” he sobbed. He just wish he could see her brown eyes again, the eyes that always reminded him of chocolate, they were the same eyes their daughter had. He just wanted to hear her voice again.

“I love you so much, it hurts so bad being without you, i miss seeing your smile, the sparkle in your eyes everytime you laugh, I miss seeing you dancing around the kitchen making breakfast, oh how I miss having you in my arms” Zander whispered, these were the words he said every time to visit her, he said this words he came to see her, “please wake up.”

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