Kastali Dun

Claire greeted the day with a groggy groan. The morning was already half over when she rose. Last night’s conversation with Reyr was still fresh in her mind, but she was resigned to not let it bother her.

After sleepily stumbling through her apartments, she found breakfast waiting on her dining table. Out of curiosity she checked her chamber door hoping she might peek out into the hallway. It was locked. Reyr must have been by, and this his way of ensuring she did not disobey orders to stay inside. He knew her too well. Otherwise, she might have slipped out for spite, simply to explore more of the south wing. Instead she shrugged it off and went about eating and bathing, all the while deep in thought.

It was the morning of the execution, and the world looked as it should: overcast and gloomy. Maybe it was good she wasn’t allowed out of her chambers. Had the king locked her up for more than one reason? He claimed that he wanted her to lay low until her new status was announced. But surely it was more than that. Was he against her attending the execution? Part of her wanted to see the traitors die gruesome deaths. Their contributions to Kane’s cause disgusted her. She thought back to the moments in the dungeon and shuddered. No, she hadn’t the heart to see them die, even if they deserved it.

After wandering around her apartments, studying her accommodations in detail, picking up and examining the trinkets on the fireplace mantle, reading the titles on her bookshelves, and exploring the views of the sea outside on her balcony, she went to her bed, sitting down with her legs crossed. She needed to think. She needed to better understand what she was supposed to do with herself, with her new life, and with the Gift Cyrus had given her. There was only one person who could help.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep, steadying breath. Cyrus, I need to speak with you, she said.

Most times the extent of his presence was a word of advice here, or an informative thought there. During her fearful moments, like her desperation before the trial, he’d shown himself with potency. But that was different. Now the world around her seemed peaceful.

Cyrus, you said you would always be with me. I need you now. Like, I really, really need you.

Something caught in her chest, making her more emotional than she’d intended. She didn’t want to cry. She didn’t want to lose control. But deep down, she was overwhelmed beyond belief. She’d done well to hold herself together since yesterday’s discovery of magic. But now….

Ever since coming to Dragonwall, she’d begun to feel more and more like a stranger. Some days it seemed like the person within her was unrecognizable, like she’d lost everything that made her the person she thought she knew. Sure, she was still stubborn, spunky, and headstrong, but those were surface traits. What about deeper?

When Cyrus had dropped into her life she was bored with the norm, she was desperate to find her place in the world, to start her career, to get out from underneath her parent’s wings. Now she was fearful of stepping out into the open, and more so afraid of her uncontrollable power. Was the accident with Caterina the first of many to come? What would happen each time she lost control? The magic was there. She’d felt it for a while now, not knowing what it was. It lurked inside her waiting to burst forth like a caged animal. Cyrus was the only one who could help her better understand herself.

Of its own volition, her mind swept back to the porch swing, back to the day she and Cyrus sat sipping sweet tea watching the cornfields together. Yes, that had been a special moment. Cyrus was showing her something. A small smile crept to her lips. She watched the memory, her eyes open but unseeing.

Who were you then? Cyrus asked.

That was easy because she knew that person, only, that person had changed. It was her current self she couldn’t figure out. “I was naive,” she whispered. “A silly overwhelmed girl with wanderlust for a place seemingly impossible. A place you called Dragonwall.”

But you were also brave and noble. Why else did you choose to rescue the beast falling from the sky? Why else did you choose to save my life?

No matter how often he said it, she wasn’t sure she’d ever feel brave. The scene continued to unfold. She watched Cyrus as he spoke to her, the pain in his face, the fear in his eyes. He knew he wouldn’t live long. She recognized his sorrow now. Why hadn’t she seen it then?

You tried to stress the importance of what was coming. All I could do was daydream about running away while denying my own importance in the story. I was certain you were going to live. I wasn’t ready for real danger. That real danger met her all the same. She shook her head, angry with her past self. You needed me to step into your shoes and become the new protector, but I was too scared to acknowledge that responsibility.

Yes, responsibility is difficult for everyone, he admitted.

There was understanding in his voice, and regret too. If saving her from this path were possible, he would have done it, he would have allowed her to lead a normal life, the kind of life every twenty-two-year-old woman was entitled to.

Cyrus, I never signed up for this, she reminded him, as if he didn’t already know. I never wanted this. She got up from the bed, opening the doors that led to her balcony. The sea breeze swept across her skin. She gazed out over the open ocean. Dragonwall was beautiful, but no matter how much everyone claimed she belonged, she missed her old home, her parents, her friends, the simplicity of life.

In helping Cyrus, she’d become part of something she hardly understood, something greater than herself. She knew so little about her true potential, about her true self, the part of her that was tied to Dragonwall, the part of her that was never meant for a mundane existence. What was she supposed to do next? How could she chart a path when she didn’t understand her own capabilities? Her own strength?

Cyrus, who am I? Who am I supposed to be?

Cyrus had once said that some things are better left discovered in time. Yet there was so much to learn. Worse still, they were running out of time.

Time is relative when considering the importance of self-discovery.

She snorted. Was it?

Reyr believed Cyrus knew something more, something that spurred his decisions before his death. She had to agree with him. So…what did Cyrus see in Saffra’s mind? What allowed him to trust her? He willingly handed over the Stones when so much rested on their safety.

Ahh…you want to know if I saw your future in Saffra’s mind.

Yes. She desperately wanted to know. She clung to the hope that truth would make things easier. And after everything she’d done for him, he owed it to her.

Truth never makes things easier, Claire. But I will tell you anyway. I never saw your future. I only saw your potential, your heart, your goodness, and your importance. It was enough.

Her chest pounded. Her hands dropped to her sides. She’d been convinced that some inescapable destiny awaited her, and that Cyrus had seen it. A sigh escaped her chest. If there was no certainty, maybe what Saffra saw was only a single possibility amongst many. There was still time to choose a different path, a safer path.

Your old life awaits you. If you so choose it, you may go back. But Dragonwall would be a lesser place without you, a hopeless place, darker without your presence.

And just like that, the possibility vanished like a sinking boat. Pressure returned to her chest. It was as if she were on that boat as it dragged her down. Her mind looked upward and saw nothing but water, with only a glint of sunshine. It was too far for her to swim to the surface.

But she wasn’t the only one struggling to accept reality. Cyrus was fighting too, clawing at his restraints as if reaching the surface were still possible. For him, it wasn’t. He could never be free.

Before I died, Claire, I despaired. In those moments, I realized my soul would not reach the afterlife. Passing it along to you was the only way to succeed. They call it the Gift, but it is hardly. A curse perhaps. A Drengr is never meant to dwell within the being of a human.

His words cut like a knife. She felt his anguish as if it were her own. Because of her, he’d cheated himself. He’d given up his hope of resting in peace. Now he was forced to be with her until death. He could not go and rest with his forefathers, nor could he go be with Leeana.

A tear freed itself, falling down her cheek. She angrily wiped it away. Why did he do it? Why did he trap himself when he could have passed peacefully into the other realm? He deserved better than what she could give. It wasn’t fair for either of them.

My soul was a Gift to save the ones I love. Sometimes one must sacrifice oneself for the greater good. What is my soul compared to thousands?

Her heart broke a little more. Most people in Dragonwall didn’t deserve his selfless sacrifice. Few would truly understand what he’d given up. Yet, his act still didn’t explain the imperative need behind his choice. Why did it take his soul to save Dragonwall?

Someday you will understand how powerful you truly are. Yours is an old blood, a strong blood. The forces within you were a part of this land long before the Drengr arrived. Alone, you will never realize what lies within you, you will never call upon yourself for what you truly are. You need my strength, my knowledge, my abilities, to lead you to answers. Together we carry the hope of defeating Kane and driving evil from our kingdom. Remember that. Only together.

She blinked, stunned. Cyrus did know more—a lot more—and he wasn’t going to tell her. Yet, somehow she already knew. Saffra’s vision wasn’t mere happenstance. She shook her head as the realization sank in. It couldn’t be…it wasn’t fair. There had to be another way.

“I don’t know how to do magic yet,” she whispered. She could name quite a few people better qualified for the job she suddenly knew she was intended for. King Talon, Queen Jade, the Magoi, the Shields….

Cyrus, I can’t do it. Even if I wanted to, I’m not ready. Panic seeped into her. Don’t make me do this. She tried to breathe. She was still sinking with the ship. Worse still, the sea was oblivious to her struggle. Its blue waters sparkled under the sun’s light.

Cyrus poured his strength and understanding into her thoughts. Claire, no one is ever ready to do what fate asks of them. We do not get to choose our destiny. It finds us, just like I found you. Do you ever wonder why it was your cornfield I fell into? Why it was you who rescued me when anyone else could have been watching?

Of course she’d wondered. Not a day went by when deep inside she wasn’t asking, Why me? It was the same question she’d asked when she fell face-first in the cornfield trying to rescue Cyrus, and the same question she asked now.

Destiny gives us purpose; destiny gives us a place in the world; destiny gives us an existence. Your destiny is simply more monumental than others. You cannot ignore it, for that would be a travesty.

“So…I have no choice.”

There is always a choice, Claire. One way or another, you must face the obstacles placed before you. That is how you come to know your true self. Only then will you truly answer the heaviest questions upon your heart.

“And in so doing, I will discover who I am,” she whispered.

You asked me earlier who you were, who you were supposed to be. Now you have your answer. All that remains is your decision. Will you chase your destiny and discover your true self? Or will you return home, never knowing if you might have saved a dying kingdom? There is always a choice.

She took a deep, shaky breath. A choice there might have been, but she had already made hers. Even without thinking, she knew what she needed to do. It doesn’t make it any easier, she thought. She was finally understanding that life was never meant to be easy. Cyrus didn’t need to tell her that. Even still she hated what she next said, “If this is my destiny, then I accept it.”

And therein lies the reason this is your destiny and not another’s. Although you have decided, fate knew your answer long before you gave it. And I knew it too, else I never would have made you Promise.

The Promise. Everything came back to the damned Promise. She shook her head, incredulous to how this had played out, to how it had circled back around. Her new life had started with a Promise. It would finish with one too.

Her throat was tight. She knew what she needed to do. Taking a deep breath, she said, “I, Claire Evans, make a new Unbreakable Promise. I promise to avenge Cyrus’s death. I promise to kill the sorcerer who calls himself Kane. In so doing, I will see the kingdom restored to its full glory. I promise this with all my heart. I will fulfill this task with the power entrusted to me, or die trying.”

The moment she closed her mouth, her body began to tingle. It recognized the magic she called upon, that Cyrus helped her weave again. At that same instant, the world around her gave witness. The seagulls squawked as they flew past the cliffs. The sea crashed upon the rocks beneath her. The wind picked up frantically, whistling past her ears. The world responded. It spoke to her saying, It is done, you have promised, and the fate of Dragonwall goes with you.