Through my Window by ARIANA Godoy ,Chapter 51,The Birthday

I love you . . . It’s so easy to say, yet so difficult to express through actions. We tend to be selfish by nature, some more than others. We want what is best for us and what benefits us. We’ve been taught to put ourselves before others, and told that if we don’t love ourselves, we can’t love someone else. And in that respect, it can become true: how much you love yourself can be reflected in your ability to love others. However, there are times when we have to put aside what we want for ourselves for the welfare of the other person. To me that is true love. I know what Ares needs and what he really wants for his future, and I’m supporting him 100 percent. But I can’t deny that I’m terrified at the idea of separating, of losing him. Just imagining it makes my chest tighten and my stomach feel funny, but I love him, and because I love him, I have to put aside what I feel for him, for his happiness. How fucked up is love? I stare at the letter in my hands. I’ve been accepted to the University of North Carolina on a partial scholarship to study psychology. I’m really happy. I can’t deny it. This is what I’ve always wanted, and there shouldn’t be anything to overshadow it. The only problem is that I want to share my happiness with Ares. I know he’ll be proud of me, but I also
know that this only makes it more real that we’ll be going our separate ways when this school year is over. It’s a bittersweet feeling, but I guess that’s life. “That’s not the reaction I expected,” Dani comments, stretching out on my bed. “They accepted you, you idiot!” “I don’t know. I still can’t believe it.” She sits down, snatching the letter from my hand, and reads it. “And with a partial scholarship? This is a miracle, because you don’t have any talent.” I give her a murderous look. “I told you that winning interstate chess tournaments would do some good.” Dani sighs. “I still don’t know how you’re so good at chess, your IQ . . .” I raise an eyebrow at her. “Is apparently good enough to get a scholarship,” she finishes. “Yay!” I put the letter on the nightstand and get up. The sun streaming through the window falls on Rocky, who’s asleep on his back with his paws in the air and his tongue out. He’s definitely my doggy incarnation. Dani glances at him, concerned. “Is he all right?” she asks. “He looks like he’s dead.” “He’s fine. He has weird sleeping poses,” I answer. Dani bursts out laughing. “Like his owner.” Dani spent the night with me, because today is . . . “Happy birthday to you!” my mother comes in with a tray of breakfast, smiling broadly at us. “Go back to bed, Raquel, or else breakfast in bed becomes meaningless.” I smile at her. “Yes, ma’am.” I return to Dani’s side. Her black hair is a bit greasy, and her makeup is smudged. Last night we drank a little at our prebirthday sleepover, which
ended with both of us crying over the Hidalgos. Me, because I got the acceptance letter and would be moving away from Ares, and her because . . . well, I don’t know what the fuck is wrong between her and Apolo. She loves him, then she doesn’t, then she wants to get over him, but she can’t. I think everyone has had a friend who has no fucking idea what she wants from a guy. Mom puts the tray on my lap. There’s plenty of food for both of us, and a small muffin that has a lit candle on it. I blow out the candle, and they clap their hands like seals that have just eaten. I can’t help the smile that spreads over my face. “Happy birthday, beautiful.” Mom leans over and gives me a kiss on the forehead. “Thank you, Mom.” I start eating and offer a piece of pancake to Dani, who grimaces, and gives Mom an apologetic look. “No offense, Rosa, but I really don’t have an appetite.” Mom scoffs. “Too much to drink last night?” Dani looks surprised. “How did you know?” “This room smells like a mixture of beer and vodka.” Mom sighs. “With a touch of wine for good measure.” Dani’s eyes widen. “How did you know what we drank?” Mom just shrugs, and I roll my eyes, answering her. “Who do you think bought the alcohol, silly?” Mom heads for the door. “Eat and get up. Your aunts and cousins are about to arrive, and we have a lot to do before tonight’s party.” The birthday party . . . Although we’re not very close with the rest of the family, my mom’s sisters always come on my birthdays and bring my cousins. I get along with
some of them, but there are others I can’t stand. “Ah,” I shriek as my mother leaves the room. “I hope Aunt Carmen’s daughters don’t come. They’re unbearable.” Dani nods in agreement. “Yeah, they’re always DM-ing me on Instagram, asking what they need for an audition for Mom’s modeling agency. They’re superannoying.” “Come on. We better get ready.” Dani lies back down, pulling the sheet over her head. “Come on, Morticia,” I take the sheet off. “Morticia?” “Look in a mirror and you’ll understand.” “Very funny.” She gets up and reluctantly walks with me to the bathroom. You haven’t passed the boundaries of trust in a friendship until you’ve been brushing your teeth in the sink while your best friend pees right next to you. “And . . . you invited him?” she asks. I knew this question would come sooner or later. “Of course, he’s my friend,” I answer after rinsing my mouth. “I know, I just wanted to . . .” “Psychologically prepare yourself to see him?” “No, just . . .” She doesn’t finish her sentence, and I turn to look at her, still sitting on the toilet. “We’ve had this conversation a thousand times, and I don’t understand what’s going on in your head. If you like him so much, why aren’t you with him?” “It’s complicated.” “No, it’s not, Dani. It’s very simple: you like each other very much, and you’re happy together. Why can’t you be together?” She runs her hands over her face. “I’m scared, Raquel.” “Scared?” That takes me by surprise. “What I feel for him scares me so much; I’ve never felt so vulnerable.”
Oh. My. God. Dani is the fucking female version of Ares. How did I not realize this? And what have I done to surround myself with people like this? “Are you serious, Dani?” I cross my arms over my chest. “Are you listening to yourself? Scared? Fuck fear. You’re never going to live life to the fullest if you’re living in fear of getting hurt.” “I’m not like you,” she admits, licking her lower lip. “You’re so strong. You rise up when something bad happens, and you smile as if life hasn’t hit you so many times. I’m not like that, Raquel. I’m a weak person hiding behind a strong facade, and you know it. I don’t get up easily. I find it hard to smile at life when something bad happens to me, that’s the kind of person I am.” “You aren’t strong? Who beat up Rafa in second grade when he called me all sorts of names? Who stood by their mother and helped her build a prestigious modeling agency? Who juggles schoolwork and helping her mother with her business?” I shake my head. “Don’t give me that shit about you not being strong, you’re one of the strongest people I know. It’s okay to be afraid, it’s normal, but don’t let fear control your life.” Her face lights up. “I’d hug you, but . . .” She points to her pants over her ankles. “Imaginary hug,” I say, slapping her forehead and leaving the bathroom. “Come on, Morti, we have work to do.” “Stop calling me that,” she says, and I hear her flush the toilet. “Look in the mirror.” I laugh as I hear her squeal. “By the nails of Christ and the flip-flops of Moses!” I take the tray with the leftovers downstairs and find Mom in the kitchen, checking the cake in the oven. It’s the perfect moment to talk, and this conversation we’re about to have has to happen sooner or later. Especially
since I’ve invited the Hidalgos to tonight’s party. Mom glances at me over her shoulder as she pours some coffee in her cup. “Mom, I need to tell you something.” I clear my throat, sitting on the kitchen table. “Can you sit down for a second?” She frowns but sits across the table from me. “You’re scaring me,” she says. I let out a long breath. “I know I’ve told you I’ve been hanging out with Ares as friends these past couple of months,” I start, and she sips her coffee. “Ares and I . . .” “You’re dating,” she finishes with a calm expression. “You knew?” “Sweetie, I’m your mother, and this is a small town. I’ve heard it all from different people. How you guys are all working together at Dream Burgers, how happy you seem.” I hesitate because her expression isn’t angry, but it’s not happy either. “Why didn’t you say anything?” I ask. “I wanted you to tell me. I’ve been waiting for a while,” she replies. The trust and communication between us fractured when the thing with Yoshi happened, and yet she was giving me time to tell her, to trust her. She was closing the chapter and opening a new one. It makes me feel like she should have found out from me. “I’m sorry, Mom, I should have said something sooner. I—” “Raquel,” she interrupts. “No, let me say this. I haven’t handled this the right way, and I’m really sorry about that. You’ve been a great mom, and I just . . . I keep messing up.” For some reason, I’m getting emotional, and tears blur my vision. Mom sighs and extends her hand to hold mine on the table. “Sweetie, no tears. There’s no need for those. It’s your birthday. We’re okay, Raquel. You’re not a kid; you’re nineteen now.” She squeezes my hand.
“My only questions for you would be: Is he treating you well? Are you happy?” “Yes.” “Then that’s all I need to know.” She pauses for a second. “Oh, are you being . . . you know, careful?” I know what she means. “Mom!” “Hey, I’m not ready to be a grandma, and you’re not ready to have a kid.” I laugh a little and she gets up to walk around the table. She leans in for a hug. “We’re a team, no secrets, okay?” “Okay, Mom.” I wrap my arms around her waist. “Now, let’s get ready for the party.”
“Then I said, ‘Of course not, silly, you’re too ugly to go out with me,’ and he was kind of shocked, so I just gave him a dirty look and left. The whole school talked about it for months.” Dani and I share a look while listening to Cecilia, my least favorite cousin, and I think with her little speech about rejecting a boy you can imagine why. I used to like her before my uncle started making good money, which made her, her sister Camila, and my aunt Carmen unbearably arrogant. Now they think they’re better than all of us since they’re the only wealthy ones in our family. My uncle is the only one who’s still the same. The party preparations are ready. Mom has decorated the backyard with white Christmas lights and balloons that match the floral dress I’m wearing. Everything looks nicer than I expected. Cecilia is about to continue talking when I see Joshua walk in. “Yoshi!” I cry, walking away from my chatty cousin. He gives me one of his big smiles. “Rochi, happy birthday.” He hugs me tightly, and when we break apart, he hands me a small gift box.
“Thank you.” I turn to greet Joana, the girl he’s been dating for the past month, who he met in his therapy group. “Hello, welcome to the madhouse.” “Joshua said you would say that as a welcome.” She giggles. I shake my head. “He knows me too well.” Joshua glances behind me at the group of cousins. “Oh, I see they all came. This’ll be interesting.” The place fills up quickly and, truth be told, it’s not that difficult given the size of the backyard. A few friends from school, some neighbors, and my aunts and cousins are enough to fill it. I glance at my phone and there’s no message from Ares, but I’m not worried. I saw him last night for a few minutes before Dani arrived for the sleepover. He told me that he’d let me have the day to share with my family, but that after the party I’d be his. He’s coming to the party with Apolo. I also sent invitations to Artemis and Claudia as a courtesy, but I don’t think they’ll come. I’m about to answer a question one of my cousins asked me when everyone’s gaze moves toward the entrance to the backyard. I slowly turn around. You know those slow-motion moments in movies? That’s what I’m experiencing right now, and I’m not the only one. The whole party seems to have come to a standstill as the Hidalgo brothers walk toward us. Artemis is wearing a black suit without a tie and the first buttons of his shirt are unbuttoned, his hair is combed back perfectly, and he has a slight beard adorning his manly face. Apolo smiles broadly, his pretty face lighting up, his damp hair caressing his ears and forehead. He’s wearing a dark blue shirt with jeans. And Ares . . . Ares is in the middle, walking as if the world belongs to him, like the fucking Greek god he is. The sleeves of his black shirt are rolled up to his elbows, revealing a beautiful black watch, and he keeps running his fingers
through his messy hair. That dazzling face gives me a crooked smile, and his blue eyes sparkle, taking my breath away. Virgin of Abdominals . . . “Holy Mother of God.” I hear Cecilia exclaim behind me. My aunt’s mouth is literally hanging open. “Where did those guys come from?” Everyone watches them in absolute silence as they approach me. Artemis is the first to speak. “Good evening.” Ares gives me a mischievous smile, and leans into me, giving me a short kiss. “Happy birthday, Witch.”
How to leave a party in absolute silence? Just invite three Greek gods, it works perfectly. Even the music has stopped, but don’t think it’s some magic trick or something. No, it’s just that my aunt Helena is in charge of the music, and she’s dazzled by the three guys in front of me. The truth is, I understand what my relatives are feeling. It takes time to get used to the Hidalgos. I feel the need to break the silence. “Thanks for coming, guys,” I tell them from the bottom of my heart. I can’t deny that I’m surprised to see Artemis here. I never imagined he would come. Apolo gives me a sweet smile, and I hear Camila sigh behind me. “You don’t have to thank us for anything,” Apolo says. “Thanks to you for inviting us.” My aunt Carmen, of course, cannot keep quiet. “Raquel, baby, where are your manners?” And so begins that awkward moment when you have to introduce your beautiful boyfriend and his siblings to your family.
“Apolo, Ares, and Artemis, these are my aunts Carmen and Maria, and my cousins: Cecilia, Camila, Yenny, Vanessa, Lilia, and Esther.” After all the protocol, and my cousins half fainting, the Hidalgos cross over to a group where Dean and other guys are talking. My cousin lets out a shriek. “Oh my God, Raquel!” Camila exclaims. “Your boyfriend is . . . I can’t explain it.” Cecilia is mute. My aunt Carmen says nothing either. My aunts wander off to talk, leaving me to the large group of girls alone. “Apolo. . . . Even his name is pretty.” Camila sighs, grabbing my shoulders. “Does he have a girlfriend?” My eyes meet Dani’s. She seems pretty annoyed at Camila’s interest. “Oh, I think he does have a girlfriend,” Dani interjects. “Oh no.” Camilla pouts. “Of course he has a girlfriend. How could that cute, beautiful thing not have a girlfriend?” she asks, staring at Apolo. Yenny takes a sip of the lightly spiked fruit drink we prepared. “Fuck relationships, I’d give anything to fuck the oldest brother.” “Yenny!” Cecilia spits out her drink. I can’t help but smile. Vanessa gives Yenny a high five. “You read my mind. One night is all I ask of any of those guys,” says Vanessa. I raise an eyebrow, and she laughs. “Take it easy, not yours, the other two.” “Apolo also has a girlfriend,” Dani intervenes. “Remember?” “So?” Vanessa looks at her, and Dani can’t hide her annoyance. “So? Would you mess with a guy who has a girlfriend?” Vanessa snorts. “I don’t want to marry him. One night, a few hours will be enough.” They all whistle and fuss, reacting to how direct my cousin is. I admit it reminds me of how direct Ares is. Apparently, there’s someone like that in every family.
Dani gives her an incredulous look. “He’s younger than you,” Dani says, as if it’s the last word on the subject. Yenny and Vanessa shrug their shoulders. “Don’t you care what people will say about you?” Vanessa shakes her head, smiling. “You need a refresher, babe, or do you still believe in that macho bullshit that it’s okay for men to date younger girls, but it’s wrong if women do it.” “Exactly.” Yenni nods in agreement. “He’s a teenager aware of what he wants. If both parties like each other, and there’s consent, what’s the problem?” Camila rolls her eyes. “Both of you shut up, Apolo is mine.” My eyes meet Ares’s glance. He’s holding a red plastic cup in his hands and takes a drink. There’s a mischievous smile dancing on his lips as he puts down the cup. “I’ll be right back,” I tell my cousins, approaching Ares. I can’t look away. As always, I feel trapped in the blue of his eyes. Every step I take quickens my heart. One by one, the people around me disappear, until it’s just me and him. The Greek god and the witch. The moody one and the stalker. I stop in front of him, grinning like an idiot. “How did it feel to be mentally fucked by all my cousins?” I ask. He strokes his chin, as if thinking. “I feel a little used,” he says and I chuckle. “Sure, like you’re not used to getting those reactions.” Ares raises an eyebrow. “Are you jealous?” “Pffff, please.” I roll my eyes. Ares grins, running his thumb across my cheek. “You look sexy when you’re jealous.” His thumb comes down and caresses the edge of my lips, and I stop breathing. “Seeing you in that dress is killing me.”
I swallow hard. He removes his hand from my face. “You know why?” My aunt Carmen walks by before I can answer. “Raquel, your mother is calling you. She’s in the kitchen.” “I have to go help.” I turn around, but Ares grabs my arm and turns me back to him. He gets close enough to me that I can smell his delicious cologne, and then leans in to whisper in my ear. “Your family thinks you’re such an innocent girl. If they only knew how you moan and beg me to give you more when I fuck you.” I gape at him. “Ares!” “Or how wet you get when I give you a simple kiss.” Holy Virgin of Abdominals, pray for us, amen. Ares releases me. I put my hand on my chest, keeping my cool for a moment, and then I run away from there as fast as I can. How can he turn me on with just words? Ares definitely has a gift. Taking a calming breath, I walk into the house. Mom is waiting for me in the kitchen with some trays. “I didn’t mean to bother you tonight, but I just need help handing these out and I promise not to bother you again.” “Calm down, Mom, I don’t mind helping. They’re my guests after all.” I grab the tray and turn to leave when Mom clears her throat. “You two seem really happy,” she says, looking in my eyes. “Really?” I ask, pleased. She just walks past me with a smile on her face, and I walk out with the tray and a matching smile on mine. I meet Claudia at the entrance. “Hey, you came,” I say. She looks very pretty in a purple dress with her hair loose and shiny. “That’s right, happy birthday.” She attempts to give me the gift in her hand, but then she sees that mine are full.
“You can put it on that table over there, the boys are in the back,” I tell
her.
She hesitates. “All three?” she asks, and I nod. “Yeah, come on in,” I encourage her. “I’m going to hand this out and I’ll meet you there, okay?” I’m just about to reach the group where Dean, Apolo, and Artemis are standing when Camilla intercepts me. “I’ll take these to them,” she says, taking the tray from me and heading toward the guys before I even have time to process everything. I watch her smile cheekily at Apolo after offering them the tray, and then she just stands there talking to him. I must admit, she’s brave. “How dare she?” Dani’s voice makes me jump because I didn’t notice her at my side. Her expression is somber. “I’m going to kill her.” “She’s just talking to him. I don’t think he likes her,” I say, trying to calm her insecurities. Yenny and Vanessa take advantage of Camila’s boldness and join her, using her to subtly insert themselves into the conversation. “Who are those people?” Claudia’s voice rings on my other side, making me jump slightly again. Why do people keep appearing next to me out of nowhere? “They’re my cousins,” I explain, letting out a long sigh. Claudia presses her lips together. “I need a drink.” “Me too.” Dani agrees. “Come on, I know where the vodka is.” “Hey, go and enjoy.” I give them the thumbs up, but they both grab me by an arm and drag me with them. This is going to be fun.