After my afternoon classes, I went to the library to burrow a book.
I turned around the corner to look at the next bookshelf to see if I could find a chemistry book. While I looked around, I gently slid the brim of my thumb over my lips, remembering how soft Killian’s were and how warm his tongue was. He smelt good too – his cologne wasn’t too strong or too faint, and he tasted quite minty from what I can remember.

My hands tightened around the straps of my bag as heat rised up my collarbone. I probably tasted like alcohol that night, after all the shots I took. But even if I felt embarrassed, I didn’t want to stop thinking about my first kiss. And for some reason, I didn’t regret doing it, nor did I regret with whom.

Way to go Carter, you really are doing a great job on forgetting your crush.

I let out a long sigh, telling myself that I’d let myself treasure the memory for just another day. Today was Friday, which meant that it was the last day Killian and I had detention together. And just like I promised myself, I’d completely forget about my silly little crush on the unattainable boy that would break my frail heart.

I scanned the shelf from bottom to top. There was a chemistry book at the shelf very top, but because of my short height, I had to stand on my tiptoes.
A small wince escaped my lips as I reached out for it, my fingers only touching the bottom corner.

Just a little bit more, just a little bit more…

But someone pulled the book out for me. The first person that popped up in my mind was Killian, but then I remembered that his this place was probably foreign territory to him.
I turned around, slightly disappointed that my deduction was right.

A student probably a head taller than me gave me a warm smile as he handed me the chemistry book.

“Thank you,” I murmured, taking it with two hands.

“I saw that you were struggling and thought that I might help,” he chuckled quietly. “Carter, right?”

I gave him a small nod, confused. “How do you know my name?”

“I was at Joey’s party Saturday night and saw you bust some moves. You were pretty lit,” he said, doing the sprinkler. My cheeks flushed red and I quickly grabbed his arms and lowered them to his sides, turning my head side-to-side in hopes that no one saw.

“P-P-Please don’t,” I stuttered. The kiss with Killian was the only thing I wanted to remember from that night. Everything else needed to be shredded and burned.

The boy chuckled, looking down at my hands that were still around his wrists. I quickly let go and took a step back, bumping into the self behind like the clumsy person that I was with a small “ouch”, which for some reason, caused him to laugh again. But not in a mean way.

“Oh right, I forgot to introduce myself.  My name is Casper.”

Like Casper the friendly ghost.

He raised a brow. “Uh yeah, like him.”

I mentally groaned, realizing that I’ve spoken my thoughts out loud again.

“Sorry,” I murmured sheepishly. “It’s just that I really liked watching that show when I was a kid, I used to dress up like him for Halloween and-”

I stopped and bit my tongue. Why was I exposing myself like this?!
I knew that I was never good at small-talk and was an awkward bean around people I didn’t know, but this was just too much.

“Right um…” I desperately tried to find something else to say, secretly shriveling in embarrassment on the inside.

“Really? I used to watch that show all the time too!” He beamed. “That stuff’s old school, I didn’t think anyone would remember it. Then again, you did bust out the sprinkler the other day,” he chuckled, starting to dance again. I quickly stopped him but couldn’t help but laugh.

“That’s not funny,” I said, trying to sound serious. We got hushed by some of he students and quickly fixed our faces, trying not to laugh.

“We should probably go,” he whispered. “Do you have class right now?”

I shooked my head as we walked out of the library.

“I um, I have detention.”

“Detention? Huh, I didn’t think that you’d be the type of guy to get into trouble.”

“I’m not. Well, um, I wasn’t anyway,” I said sheepishly. He opened the door for me and I thanked him.

“Oh hey, you have something in your hair,” he frowned. I started patting my head.

“Is it gone?”

“No, a little bit more to the left,” he instructed as I continued to pat around. “No, no, a bit more to the right.”

“How about now?”

“Hold on, I’ll get it for you,” he murmured, reaching over.

“Jones?” Said a voice. We turned to the side and my eyes widened as I saw Killian casually walking down the hall towards us. For some reason, I felt flustered, as if I was caught doing something that I wasn’t supposed to, quickly taking a step away from Casper.

“H-H-Hi.”

“Oh, you’ve got something in your hair,” he murmured, reaching over and removing the fluff.
He blew the cotton off his finger tip and gave me a warm smile.

“All done,” he beamed, making my entire being melt into a puddle. Why did everything he do have to be so attractive?!

“What are you doing here?” I frowned.

“You always seem so surprised when I come here,” he noted. “We have detention, remember?”

“Killian, right?” Said Casper, clearing his voice. Killian glanced over towards him and smiled politely. There was something different about the way he smiled, but I couldn’t quite tell what. It almost seemed… Cold.

“That’s right,” he said smoothly. “I’m Killian.”

“My name is-”

“Annoying,” grunted Killian. Casper and I furrowed our brows and Killian started to wave his hand in the air. “There’s an annoying fly in the air,” he completed. He then looked back towards me. “We should go Jones, we have detention and you probably don’t want to be late.”

I wrinkled my nose. “Since when do you care about being on time?”

“Since Mr. Thirdwheel over here started touching your hair,” he shrugged, making my eyes widen. “I’m kidding,” he added dryly. “Now come on, I don’t remember which room we have detention.”

Which sounded quite absurd, considering that there was only one detention room in this entire school.
He took my hand and started pulling me down the corridors, his hand tighter than usual. I turned my head around and saw Casper who looked just as confused as me.

“Sorry Casper, it was nice meeting you!” I called.

“I’ll see you around! Maybe we can hang out and watch Casper the friendly ghost sometime.”

“Yeah, I’d like that!”

Killian finally let go of me when Casper was no longer in sight.

“What the fuck is Casper the friendly ghost?” He growled bitterly, the tone of his voice making me even more confused.

“Don’t swear,” I frowned. But for some reason, he looked too annoyed to apologise so I decided to let it slide. “It was my favorite show when I was a kid.”

Killian didn’t say anything and remained rather quiet. He seemed to be in a bad mood today. Maybe something bad happened to him back at home? Or maybe with Luke?

We made it to detention but he stopped me before I opened the door.

“Jones,” his voice was low and stern.

“Yes?” I squeaked.

“I’m sorry.”

“For swearing?” I let out a small chuckle, hoping to ease the atmosphere. “It’s okay Killian, you don’t need sound so serious.”

“No, not that. I mean that too, but more about Saturday night,” he precised. “I know that you probably don’t want to talk about it or even think about the party, but I shouldn’t have left you alone with Jenna. I know this may sound like a crappy- Er, I mean lame excuse,” be tried to keep his vocabulary PG-13 which I thought was really cute. “But I thought that I could trust her.”

“It’s okay,” I said with a small smile, a warm feeling bubbling inside at his sincerity. I never really blamed him for what happened that night, but I didn’t believe that he was completely innocent either. “I’m not mad at you Killian, honest I’m not,” I promised, the lines on his face finally softening. “And um, I’m also sorry.”

“For what?”

“For sexually assaulting you.”

He coughed. “Sexually assaulting me?”

“Y-Y-Yeah,” I stuttered, feeling my face turn red. “Uh, you know, um, I kissed you without asking beforehand so um…” my voice drifted off and Killian bursted out laughing, making me feel even more embarrassed.

“I’m serious!” I huffed, trying to impose my authority which was basically nonexistant.

“Sorry, you’re just too cute,” he cackled, wiping away a tear. I frowned at the word cute.

No sir, I was not “cute.” I was smoking hot.
Like a potato.
A smoking hot potato.
A really piping hot- I should stop.

“Jones, I didn’t mind the kiss,” he said once he finally calmed down. “You were terrible at it, but I didn’t mind.”

My mouth dropped wide open. Terrible?!

“It was my first time!” I protested. defensively. Killian paused and my eyes widened as I just exposed myself. “Uh, I mean, um-” but I couldn’t find anything to say. I didn’t even bother lying since it was obvious that I hadn’t kissed anyone before so I quickly turned towards the door. “We have detention.”

But Killian turned me back towards him.

“Was I really your first?” He asked sternly.

I stared at the floor, speaking in a small voice that was hardly audible. “…Maybe.”

His head hung and he let out an small groan. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

“Why are you apologizing again?”

“I dunno, you just look like the type of person who treasures your first kisses and stuff,” he murmured, making me even more flustered by how on point he was. “And a drunk kiss isn’t really the most romantic way to have your first.”

I small smile grew on my lips.

It was okay because it was with you.

But the fact that I smiled saddened me.

“Hey Killian?” I murmured, finally looking back towards him. “Can you um, can you give me my fourth dare?”

I needed to stop my frivolous feelings here and now. These uncontrollable thoughts were mentally draining and as good of a person Killian was, he still made bad choices.
Since Killian and I won’t be seeing each other anymore, rarely anyway, I still wanted to finish our bet.

Right.

This was our last day together.

I should be rejoicing, but a part of me felt sad. Empty almost.