“Are you warm enough?”

Jared’s hand was poised over the dial that controlled the heating; his eyes still fixed on the winding roads ahead as he turned it up. Warm air kissed my face and I huddled further into the seat, the fluffy collar of my coat tickling my cheek in the process.

“Yeah, I’m good thanks.” I smiled at him.

He nodded; his lips quirking up in a smile as he readjusted his position in the driving seat. He had picked me up half an hour ago; claiming that my stripey dress, tights and boots would be suitable for our mystery date. It was just beginning to go dark and I was beginning to worry that Jared’s idea of a date would be hiking up a mountain for fun. I hope Jared knew how unfit I was; not to mention how uncoordinated I would be in the dark.

“So where are you taking me exactly?” I questioned curiously.

Jared shook his head and smiled conspiratorially, “So impatient.”

“Can you blame me? You’re so elusive.” I teased, narrowing my eyes at the laughing boy.

“Elusive?” Jared repeated with mock shock, “Sounds sexy.”

I rolled my eyes, “Shut up.”

He only laughed as I turned up the music so that it surrounded the car, enclosing us in it’s beautiful sound. It was a band I had never heard of, but I liked it. Jared always surprised me with his music taste.

“So about the other night…” Jared reached up and scratched his face sheepishly, “I’m sorry about the way I acted; I shouldn’t have gotten so angry, and the speeding-” He trailed off, his eyes fixed on the road for a moment before he reached for my hand, “I don’t ever want to make you scared like that again.”

His apology warmed my heart; I was so happy he had bought it up. It had been playing on my mind. I squeezed his hand, “I’m sorry for slapping you, I was just so scared, I didn’t think I would ever-”

“Hey,” Jared interrupted, “It’s fine, we were both dicks.”

I laughed at his choice of words, “I guess that’s one way to say it.”

We fell into easy conversation then; discussing our impending doom of mock exams, disagreeing on our favourite films and him giving me clues about where we were going.

“We’re nearly there!” He reassured me.

“Please tell me this isn’t the part where I find out you’re actually a serial killer and you’re taking me to your secret murder lair?” I teased playfully.

He rolled his eyes, “Oh no, you’ve foiled my master plan.”

He pulled into a car park onto the right that I had failed to notice because it was surrounded by thick trees. I edged forward in my seat so I could peer past Jared as he tried to find a parking space. A diner was centered in the middle of the car park, a small metallic building with a large neon sign reading ‘J’s Diner’ . I could barely conceal my excitement; I had always loved the idea of cheesy old fashioned American Diners; I had always loved seeing them in films such as Grease.

“I remember you saying you had always wanted to go to an American diner.” Jared said after he had parked the car, “I spoke to my Mum about it and she said it was pretty good,” He chuckled and shook his head, “and knowing my Mum’s standards the food is probably amazing.”

“I can’t wait to try those milkshakes!” I squealed in excitement.

Jared grinned, Let’s go then.”

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

“Hello, welcome to J’s Diner.” A chirpy waitress greeted us when we stepped inside. She was dressed in a yellow dress with a red apron and cap.

“Thank you.” Jared smiled after she had ushered us into a booth for two.

“Your welcome.” The waitress grinned back, “Here are your menus.”

I smiled my thanks at her and quickly opened the menu. The long journey had made me ravenous and all I could think about was eating a burger the size of my head.

“So what milkshake are you going to get?” Jared questioned, his eyes watching me in amusement as I read over the drinks menu in excitement.

“It has to be Twix.” I finally decided, placing my menu back on the table.

“Twix?” Jared repeated in surprise.

“You doubt my choice?” I questioned in mock disbelief.

“Would have gone for oreo myself.” He retorted playfully.

“You cliche.”

I glanced around the diner – it was everything I had hoped it would be. The walls were covered in various pictures of famous musicians; Elvis, David Bowie, Jimi Hendrix and Jon Bon Jovi. The floors were the traditional white and black checks and big red booths were scattered around the diner. There was an ancient looking jukebox in the corner of the room, it was currently blasting out ‘Caught in a Trap’ by Elvis Presley.

I shyly reached for Jared’s hand across the metal table; causing him to look up from his menu. I entwined our fingers, admiring how good he looked under the low purplish lighting of the diner. He was dressed in a denim jacket, his chest clad in a white t-shirt. Stubble was present on his cheeks; making him even more attractive if that were even possible.

“Thank you.” I mumbled, “For bringing me here.”

He squeezed my hand, “No problem.”

We fell into conversation after we had ordered our food and drinks. Jared kept his hand entwined with mine; occasionally stroking my skin affectionately. I couldn’t help but think how nice it was to just go on a normal date with Jared. A date where we weren’t arguing over something stupid or worrying about anything. I knew there were still things that Jared was hiding; something about his family, but I concluded that he would tell me when he was ready.

“Hey do you mind if I go outside for a sec?” He questioned as I was drinking my milkshake.

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, “Is there something wrong?”

“No,” He said quickly before grimacing, “I just need a cigarette.”

“Still have that dirty habit I see?” I murmured, raising an eyebrow at the sheepish blonde boy.

“I’m sorry, I know you hate it. I’ll try and stop…but it’s been stressful lately.” Jared sighed as he pulled his pack of Marlboro cigarettes out of his denim jacket. He fingered the red and white packaging before pulling out a stick.

“Stressful?” I frowned, “About exams?”

“Yeah I guess.” Jared shrugged, agreeing half-heartedly.

“Jared, I know you.” I said gently; reaching for his hand across the table once again, “I know it’s more than exams bothering you.”

Jared squeezed my hand briefly before he pulled away, “We’re on date; can’t we just have fun?”

“Jared-” I started but his head snapped up.

His expression was irritated, “Please Jade, just let it go.”

I glanced downwards quickly; my cheeks flushing slightly. I tried and failed to not take it personally. I wanted Jared to confide in me, to trust me and let me comfort him. It seemed that would not be happening any time soon; it was obvious it was still Jared against the world, no matter how much I pushed and shoved to stand beside him. Our relationship was verging on the edge of commitment, or so I thought, but could we truly commit to one another if Jared continued to push me away every chance he got?

Jared was sliding in the booth beside me in seconds. His hands found the side of my face; his thumbs nudging my jaw upwards gently so that I was looking up at him. His green eyes searched mine gently before they fluttered closed as he pressed a kiss to my lips.

“I’m sorry.” He murmured as he rested his forehead against my own, “I’m sorry I snapped at you and that I’m a hothead. I shouldn’t speak to you like that.”

I smiled and nudged my nose against his, “Apology accepted.”

“Now enough sappiness, let me try your milkshake, it looks better than mine.”

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

“How long have you smoked?” I questioned curiously.

We were stood outside the diner. Jared was leaning against the wall and I couldn’t help but think he resembled a 90s Leonardo Dicaprio look-alike with his vintage denim jacket and bad boy ‘I smoke cigarettes’ look. I knew that smoking was awful, I had had enough lectures from my Mum to know all the kinds of horrific illnesses and diseases it encouraged and created, but I couldn’t help but notice that the act of smoking was addictive to watch. The amber embers burned brightly as Jared sucked on the cancer stick; his eyes pinching shut as he blew out the smoke lazily.

“I’ve smoked since I was a kid I guess.” Jared answered after a moment.

I rolled my eyes, “That explains why you look like an expert.”

“I used to steal them from Jacob. I used to think it made me look cool.” Jared chuckled; his eyes still closed as he breathed out smoke once again, “What a cliche.”

I perked up at the mention of his mysterious brother but decided not to press it. I didn’t want to ruin the date by making Jared all twitchy with my questions.

“So you were always Mr. Bad Boy?” I teased.

Jared cocked an eyebrow, his expression amused, “You think I’m a bad boy?”

“Are you kidding?” I snorted, “It’s written all over you. The leather jackets, the smoking, the dark and mysterious past.” I grinned cheekily, “You’re right. You are a walking cliché. You could be a character in a teen fiction novel.”

“Is that the only reason you’re going out with me?” Jared smirked.

“Oh of course.” I retorted cheekily.

“Well, would you mind if this bad boy kissed you right now?” Jared questioned, moving away from the wall and coming to stand in front of me.

“Not with that thing in your hand.” I scolded, motioning to lit cigarette in his hand.

He quickly threw it over his shoulder, “Gone. Puff, like magic.”

“You could get fined for that.” I reminded him as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

“It just adds to my bad boy cred. Don’t worry about it.” He chuckled.

He kissed me before I could make another joke.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

“Do you think we should go inside?” I asked breathlessly.

Jared shook his head, his hair tickling my collarbone as he sucked on my skin, “No, I’m not done kissing you yet.”

I laughed and tugged at his hair slightly. He reluctantly pulled away from me so he could give me a questioned stare.

“Why is it we always do this in a car?” I questioned in amusement.

I glanced down at our entangled bodies. Jared was practically on my lap the way he was leaning towards the passenger seat. His hand had been gripping my thigh; his other in my hair as he kissed and sucked at my exposed skin.

“Why?” Jared pulled back, a bemused smirk on his face. “Do you want to come inside?”

I felt the weight of his question. I knew that Jared probably had plenty of girls ‘come inside’ in the past and I didn’t want things to go too fast.

“Hey;” Jared murmured soothingly, running his thumb over my knuckles, “Come inside, even if it’s just to eat junk food and watch American Horror Story.”

I grinned at him; my heart swelling at his words. I would never do anything with Jared that I wasn’t comfortable with. Just because I adored the boy did not mean that I would put everything on the line for him. I was growing more comfortable with him; and yes, I wanted him, but I was scared.

Sex was this complicated and intriguing world that I had yet to enter. I had heard from Lucy and Rebecca about what it was like; but that wasn’t the same as actually doing it myself. I had watched films and read countless books containing sex and each time it had lacked the details I was looking for. Sex was always bigged up to be this massive thing; this huge and defining experience, yet everyone was too embarrassed or ashamed to talk about it. Whenever I had considered having sex with Darren I had shied away; shriveling at the thought of being so raw and vulnerable with another human being. I knew that sex didn’t define a person; but I wanted to make sure I was completely sure that I wanted to delve into this intimate act with Jared.

I leaned forward and grazed my lips against his. He fell into my touch, his hands brushing my curly hair as he kissed me back.

“Thank you.” I said sincerely, “For saying that.”

“I want you to be ready,” Jared told me, “I don’t want to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.”

“Jared…” I kissed him again, “I really like you.”

Jared laughed softly, “Can I get that in writing?” He teased before kissing me again.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Jared unlocked his front door and quickly pulled me inside.

I was once again amazed at how big Jared’s house was. The hall was plunged into darkness; a sign that Jared’s parents were not yet home. Jared pulled me towards him, his arms curling around my torso as leaned in to kiss me. I pushed myself up slightly so I could meet him halfway; my height giving me a disadvantage. Jared chuckled and lifted me slightly so I didn’t have to strain myself.

“I thought you didn’t invite me inside to seduce me?” I gasped theatrically as he pushed me into the wall.

“This isn’t me trying to seduce you,” Jared chuckled before leaning down to kiss the junction under my jaw, “If I were, we would be upstairs by now.”

I rolled my eyes, “So confident.”

“Part of the bad boy rep.” Jared joked; referring to our earlier conversation.

“Well less talking more kissing bad boy.” I urged sternly and tugged on his blonde hair. He smirked and bowed his head to crash his lips against mine. I hummed contentedly and carded my fingers through his thick hair, loving the way his hands dug into my hips when I nipped at his bottom lip.

“Come on,” Jared said, “Let’s go in here.”

He grabbed my hand and tugged me in the direction of the living room. He turned around when we were at the door, his lips on mine heatedly as he kicked the door open. We practically fell into the room, his hands tugging at my hair and caressing my face as we kissed each other eagerly. We pulled away for breath and froze when we saw that the living room was already occupied.

Jared’s parents were sat on the sofa. They were staring at us in horror, their coffee mugs loosely held in their hands. It was the first time I had seen them both not looking as if they had waltzed out of a commercial add. Jared’s mother was dressed in a navy blue nightgown, her hair down instead of pinned back in her normal perfect bun. Jared’s dad was in a white dress shirt, but it was creased and untucked. They both looked incredibly stressed and exhausted, Jared’s mum actually looked as if she had been crying.

“Jared-” His mum began to say but Jared quickly interrupted her.

“What the hell is she doing here?”

I frowned in confusion and followed Jared’s cold gaze. I was surprised to see a woman sat on the armchair at the opposite end of the room. I had failed to notice her; probably because she looked as if she wanted to blend into the leather chair.

The woman looked a few years older than us. She was pretty, very pretty. She looked like one of those women who always looked effortlessly good. She had shiny dyed auburn hair that had been styled in a short bob that reached just below her chin. She was dressed in a black long sleeved t-shirt and blue jeans. Her face was pale and tears were streaming down her cheeks. In her arms was a sleeping baby, probably about a year old. The baby was curled in her lap, her small body clad in a pink babygrow.

“Jared, listen-” Jared’s dad was standing up now. His eyes dark with apprehension as he watched his son glare at the young woman.

“Nicole?” Jared breathed in confusion.

“I’m just here to talk.” The woman, Nicole, said shakily, “I don’t want any trouble.”

“That’s funny.” Jared scoffed harshly, “Because from what I recall all you do is cause trouble.”

“Jared please, you’ll wake the baby!” Jared’s mum cried. She was clutching a tissue, her face crumpled with distress.

“The baby,” Jared repeated, his eyes wide, “Right the baby.”

Jared took a step forward and Nicole flinched and subconsciously pulled the little girl closer to her chest. I watched Jared in confusion as he walked towards them; it was as if he were in a trance. His hands were shaking at his sides and he looked as if he were about to combust. His eyes were glassy as he smirked; not the handsome and cocky smirk I had become accustomed to, this smirk was cruel and calculating.

“So what colour eyes did she get in the end?” Jared questioned, a sharp laugh escaping his lips.

“Jared stop.” Nicole snarled.

Jared froze and took a few steps back as if she had pushed him physically. His eyes flickered between Nicole and his parents; obviously confused by their alliance. He carded his fingers roughly through his hair before shaking his head and storming out of the room, not sparing me a second glance as he walked past me.

“Jared!” His mum called after him. She stood up and stared after him hopelessly. Her eyes met mine briefly before she burst into tears.

I quickly left the room and followed Jared, concluding that that was the best thing for me to do right now. I doubted his parents wanted me standing around watching them cry like an idiotic statue.

Jared had stormed out of the front door, leaving it wide open in his haste. He was making his way towards his car. I ran to keep up with him and grabbed his forearm in attempt to cease his furious movements. He yanked his arm out of my hold as if he had been burned.

“Jared, what the hell is going on?” I asked in confusion when he refused to look at me.

I had no idea what I had just witnessed, all I knew that Jared was on the verge of falling apart. I had never seen him look so angry; it practically radiated from him in waves. I had never seen him look at someone as if they hated them, his eyes dark and blazing with betrayal, his lips curled up into a cruel snarl.

“I need to get out of here.” Jared said through gritted teeth, “Jade, I can’t be around you right now.”

I went to reach out for him again but he turned around abruptly; his eyes livid as if he had predicted my intention to comfort him.

“Jade don’t!” He yelled. “Just leave me alone!”

I shrank back at the venom in his voice. He was breathing heavily, the vein in his jaw working furiously because of how hard it was clenched. He attempted to take a deep breath; but it came out shaky and defeated.

“I have to go.” He said in a strained voice.

I watched as he got into his car and drove off without a backwards glance, his engine roaring behind him. Tears pricked at my eyes as I tried to come to terms with what had just happened. I tugged my coat around me and tried and failed not to cry. The cold air pricked at my bare face as I searched my pockets for my phone. I had no idea who to call. If I called my parents they would question what had happened; and I had no answers for them because I had no idea. It seemed that every time I was with Jared I was only left with more questions.

My eyes fell on a name in my contacts list and my lip trembled as I dialled the number.

“Hello?”

“Violet,” I cried shakily, “I know things are a bit weird between us right now, but I really need someone. Will you meet me?” I couldn’t contain my tears now.

“Meet me at that 24 hour garage in ten. The one of Buckley Street.” Violet said immediately, “I’m leaving now, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Thank you.” I whispered.

“I’ll be there soon.” Violet repeated before she hung up.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I walked into the 24 hour diner and spotted Violet at our usual booth.

She looked up when she heard the bell ring and stood up to greet me. I found myself practically running towards her. She immediately engulfed me in a hug.

“Oh my God Jade, what happened?” Violet questioned as she took in my tearstained appearance. I suspected I looked like a possessed panda with mascara all down my face.

I noticed that Violet was in her pyjamas, her body clad in a bright blue Pokemon top and white pants which were covered in various pictures of Pikachu. Her brown hair was wild and unbrushed and she had sleep in the corners of her eyes. The fact that Violet had rushed here immediately touched my heart; she was a true friend.

“Did I wake you up?” I asked her apologetically.

Violet shrugged nonchalantly, “It doesn’t matter.” She paused and motioned for me to sit in the booth beside her, “What happened?”

I told her everything that had happened. I told her what Jared had told me about his brother, the way he had reacted to seeing Nicole, his abrupt exit after the confrontation with his parents. The words tumbled out of my mouth in a stream of incoherent blubbering and sometimes Violet had to remind me to take a breath and slow down so that she could understand what I was saying.

It was so good to finally talk to someone about what I was feeling and thinking, and not just someone, Violet. Violet who had been my best friend since primary school, a girl I used to tell everything. I felt the tension from the previous weeks of fighting finally evaporate completely as she comforted me and finally calmed me down enough to stop crying.

“I wonder what happened with this Nicole woman.” Violet thought allowed as she put sugar into her second cup of coffee.

We had ordered some french toast and two coffees when I had realised I was starving. The waitress had looked as if he wanted to kill us; he was obvious displeased that we were here at this ungodly hour. I felt sorry for her; he probably didn’t want to be stuck in a 24 hour garage with a blubbering mess of a girl. I had texted Adrianna what had happened and she had reassured me that she would cover for me with Mum and Dad.

“I don’t know.” I shrugged, “But it must have been pretty bad from the way he reacted.”

“I can’t believe he just left!” Violet exclaimed, “Without explaining anything. Has he even made sure you’ve got home safe?”

I shook my head. I had been checking my phone every five minutes to see if Jared had sent me anything, “No, but I’m not surprised. He was really upset.”

“That boy is a mystery.” Violet shook her head.

We sat in silence for a few seconds, sipping at our coffee and nibbling at our french toast. Violet was playing with her sparkly nail varnish when she spoke.

“Me and Edward have been talking.”

I smiled, “Really?”

“Yeah.” Violet bit her lip before leaning forward, “Jade I have something to tell you.”

I raised my eyebrows at her anxious behaviour but nodded, “Is it bad?”

Violet cocked her head in thought, “I used to think it was bad but I’ve recently decided that it’s not.”

I was confused by her words, “So it’s good?”

“Kind of.”

I waited for her to explain. She looked nervous as she played with the handle of her mug. She seemed to be choosing her words carefully; mulling over the way she wanted to approach what she wanted to discuss with me.

“You know when we were fighting a couple of weeks ago, I’m still really sorry. I was a bitch to you; I should never have acted the way I did when I saw Edward kiss you. I guess I was…jealous.” Violet began unsurely.

“Vi, I know. I’m sorry about that, I know now how much you like him. It’s no surprise you were jealous.” I reassured her.

“Let me finish Jade!” Violet pleaded, her expression nervous, “I wasn’t just jealous about you kissing Edward. I was jealous about Edward kissing you too.”

I frowned in confusion at her words. I had no idea where she was going with this but before I could ask she continued talking hurriedly.

“It took me a while to figure out why I was jealous exactly. I acted out because I was confused and angry because I didn’t understand why I was jealous. I just thought it was because of Edward…but then I started getting jealous of Jared and that’s why I used him to make you angry…bitchy move I know, but like I said I was confused. Then I started talking to Lucy about it and then suddenly it hit me, you know, it hit me…” She took a deep breath, “It hit me that maybe it was because I had a crush on you too. I just needed you and Edward to kiss to make me realise…to realise that I’m…” She trailed off unsurely.

Violet stared at me, her bottom lip captured in her teeth as silence fell between us.

I blinked, “You had a crush on me?”

“I think so…” Violet agreed reluctantly, “Please don’t freak out.”

I felt as if I had stepped into a dream; a really strange dream. I attempted to register Violet’s words; I couldn’t quite wrap my brain about what she had just told me. I thought about the fights we had had in the previous months. How Violet had been so quick to hate Jared, how she was so snappy whenever I bought him up in conversation. I thought about how hurt she had been when she had saw Edward kiss me and then the venomous words she had thrown my way at Miles’s party. Violet had been my best friend for years and I had never guessed that she would tell me something like this.

“Please say something.” Violet begged, tears forming in her eyes.

“Well…” I shrugged and smiled, “I’m flattered I guess.”

Violet stared at me for a moment before erupting with laughter. Relief spread across her face as she swiped at the tears that had managed to escape. Her body slumped against the booth and I reached out to grab her hand.

“So you’re a bisexual?” I asked unsurely.

Violet shrugged, “I guess you could say that; although I think it’s best for now to avoid labels.”

“I’m glad you told me.” I told her.

And I really was. We talked about it for a while and I listened as she told me about her confusion and worry. She hadn’t told her parents yet but she stated the most important thing was that she had admitted it to herself. She stated that she had known for a while but had been too scared to admit it.

“I think I just hated you so much because you made me come to terms with how I was feeling.” Violet confessed, “I just didn’t want to accept it.”

“So how do you feel now?” I asked gently.

“Muddled.” Violet answered honestly, “A little scared.”She smiled suddenly, “But I’m happy. I finally feel myself.”

I squeezed her hand, “If you’re happy, that’s all I care about you.”

She grinned at me over the table before she ordered another round of coffee. We fell into easy conversation, discussing exams and christmas presents we were planning to buy this year. We finally decided it was time to call a taxi when we could barely keep our eyes open; it must have been around two in the morning.

“Jade,” Violet said when we were outside waiting for our taxi. We were huddled together in my coat, one of our arms in each other the sleeves, “For the record, I don’t have a crush on you anymore.”

“Well, I’m hurt!” I joked.

“I’ve decided I’m definitely a more brunette kind of girl.” Violet laughed, “I’ve been watching a lot of Angelina Jolie films and decided she is my dream woman.”

“I can see that.” I nodded in thought, “Plus you’re a lot cuter than Brad Pitt.”