The library was always busy in the last few weeks of the winter term before the Christmas holidays. The teachers had decided that the perfect Christmas presents for their students was a heap of work and mock exams the day we arrived back. The Christmas dance was also looming and everyone was attempting to finish their workload so they could focus on the upcoming festivities.

“How did you get the answer 150? I’ve got 55?” I groaned in exasperation as I looked down at the equation in front of me.

I slammed my maths book shut with some force which caused my highlighters to roll off the table. I had been trying to do my maths homework and I was getting nowhere with it. I huffed and glanced at the Christmas tree that was positioned by our desk; it had been decorated hazardously with silver tinsel and red baubles.

“You have to multiply and then divide,” Violet; the mathematical whizz tried to explain. She had looked up from her English coursework, her glasses slipping down her nose slightly as she looked over my work.

“You make it sound so simple.” I mumbled begrudgingly as I crossed out the wrong answer, “You literally looked at it for a second.”

“Your brain just doesn’t do math.” Edward said teasingly.

I massaged my temple with a groan, “My brain hurts.”

“It doesn’t take much.” Edward continued, his eyes glinting in amusement.

I kicked him under the table, “Shut up.”

“I gave up after question five.” Lucy reassured me as she wrapped a pencil in her blonde hair, “Do you think the Christmas dance will be themed this year?”

“We were talking about it in the meeting today actually,” Violet said, her words causing Lucy to perk up considerably, “We’re stuck between costumes and formal. Caroline was saying that people might not dress up but I disagreed. Everyone made a lot of effort for Halloween.”

“Do you think we’ll be able to get ready at yours?” Lucy asked, her blue eyes on me.

I shrugged, “I asked my Mum, she said she’d think about it.”

“What could you even dress up as?” Edward frowned, “Christmas is a bit of a shit theme! No one wants to dress up like a Christmas tree.”

“You would look cute as a Christmas tree,” Violet said shyly.

“Right,” Edward snorted, “But thank you.” He added quickly with a smile.

Violet grinned, her cheeks turning pink as she quickly looked down at her coursework. Lucy and I glanced at each other quickly; neither of us missing the small exchange between our two friends.

“I think I’m going to go as a polar bear,” Lucy stated thoughtfully.

“Did you actually just say that?” Edward asked slowly.

“Yeah,” Lucy snapped defensively, “I’m going to find a fur dress.”

“A fur dress-“

“Yeah? What’s wrong with that?”

“You’ll look like a big pompom.”

“You’re so annoying!”

I opened my mouth to say something; growing more and more amused by the spectacle that was happening before me, but I stopped when I saw Jared walking into the library.

Jared didn’t resemble his usual self at all; no trace of the confident, cocky troublemaker. He was walking with his head down, his blonde hair messy and flopping down on his forehead; his usual windswept style nowhere to be seen. He glanced around the library sheepishly, his hand clutching his rucksack nervously. He was looking in the direction of our table now; his eyes brushing over Edward, Lucy, Violet and finally me. Our eyes met for a second before he looked away quickly; ducking his head and walking in the direction of the science books.

“Is he still not speaking to you?” Violet questioned after a moment.

I tore my eyes away from the direction Jared had disappeared and cleared my throat when I realised all of my friends were looking at me.

“No,” I sighed, “Not since our date two weeks ago.”

It was true; Jared hadn’t even looked at me since our date at the diner. After he had driven off, I had tried calling him but he hadn’t answered. I had sent him a few texts after that, but I had quickly realised that he was ignoring me. He didn’t even look at me when he passed me in the corridor and in English, he just buried his head in a book. I hadn’t pushed him because I could take a hint.

I couldn’t help but feel hurt but I decided it was easier to cover it up with anger and nonchalance. I wasn’t going to blame myself for Jared’s mood swings, I knew it had something to do with that woman because everything had been fine up to that point. Well, at least I thought so.

“Why don’t you go and talk to him?” Edward suggested; keeping his voice low.

“Why?” I snapped grouchily, “He obviously doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“I think you should,” Lucy agreed, “Before she,” She inclined her head in the direction of Immy, “does. She hasn’t taken her eyes off him.”

I glanced at Immy; she was already half out of her chair. Her big doe eyes were fixed on Jared who was browsing the shelves.

“For all I know he could want to talk to her,” I mumbled dejectedly.

I couldn’t help but think about the picture that had been posted on Facebook a few months ago, their passion frozen in time for everyone to see. Maybe that was what we had been; just a moment of the past, something to look back on.

“Don’t do that to yourself.” Violet scolded; obviously noticing me flinching at the thought.

“Can we talk about something else please?” I pleaded. I looked down at my math questions, they suddenly seemed a lot more inviting, “Did anyone get the answer to question seven?”

“Jade,” Edward nudged my foot under the table, “Just go talk to the guy. I’m not his biggest fan,” He blushed slightly and I suspected he was thinking back to our drunken kiss, “but you like the guy, even if you won’t admit it right now.”

I wanted to cross my arms over my chest and sulk but I knew he was right.

“Fine!” I hissed, “but this is just going to end badly.”

I reluctantly walked over to the science section of the library. Jared was still looking at the shelves, his fingers hovering over a book labelled ‘The Biology of Plants’. We were obscured slightly behind the bookcases, but when I glanced over my shoulder I could see Immy’s eyes were on us with a face of thunder.

“Jared,” I greeted him half-heartedly.

He stiffened at the sound of my voice, his hand frozen on the spine of the textbook he had been looking at. He looked at me over his shoulder; dark bags surrounded his eyes, the iris were bloodshot. He looked as if he hadn’t slept in weeks.

The smell of smoke and whiskey radiated off him in waves. My eyes spotted the silver hip flask that poked out of his rucksack slightly. Had he been drinking in school?

“What’s up?” He questioned bluntly as he turned back to face the bookcase.

“I was just catching up on some homework,” I trailed off, my eyes fixed to his back “How are you?”

“I’m fine.” He shrugged, still not looking at me.

I nodded and swallowed hard, “Right.”

He turned around suddenly, his arms folded across his chest; like a barrier between us. “Listen; I’m pretty busy here. Do you need something?”

I bristled at his dismissive tone. I mirrored his body language, crossing my own arms over my chest. I looked at him, already rehearsing what I would say to him. However, to my annoyance, he had already turned his back on me once again.

“I want to know what the hell is going on, I just-” I started furiously.

“You just what Jade?” Jared interrupted me coldly before I could continue, “You thought you were my girlfriend or something?”

“What? No-”

“What then?” He had turned around now and taken a few steps towards me, “You thought we were friends? That because I took you out for a milkshake and fooled around in my car-”

“Fuck you-“

“Means that I care about you, that I’m going to fall into your arms and tell you all my problems.” His eyes were blazing as he glared down at me.

My heart pounded in my chest and it took everything in me to push away the tears that had began to cloud my vision from his harsh words. I wanted to scream at him, hit him, but I was too shocked to react. I felt dizzy with stupidity; I wanted to crawl into a hole and bury myself in it so I would never have to look at Jared and feel this small ever again.

“You’re an absolute wanker.”I spat out shakily.

He smiled cruelly at me, “Whatever. Are we done here?”

“Yeah.” I laughed sharply, “We are definitely fucking done.”

I turned around; prepared to storm away from him but I felt his fingers on my back. He stood right behind me, his body warm against my own. His head fell onto the curve on my shoulder, his hair tickling my cheek.

“Jade,” He breathed, his voice slightly hoarse, “I’m sorry.”

“No!” I hissed as I turned around to face him. I took a few steps back so I could no longer feel his body heat, “We are done. You made sure of that. You can shove your apology up your arse.”

I walked away from him without looking back, partly because I didn’t want to see his reaction to my final words.

I shoved my belonging into my school bag; ignoring the questions from my friends and only responding with a quick ‘catch you later’ before I exited the library, slamming the door behind me.

♥           ♥         ♥ 

“He’s behind you dickhead!” Adrianna exclaimed angrily at the TV.

Adrianna and I were sprawled on the sofas in the living room; various snacks were scattered on the floor – despite Mum’s protests; she was worried that we were going to spill them everywhere. We were nestled under a thick blanket as we watched our favourite horror film Scream.

Adrianna and I used to have film nights all the time when we were little. Whenever one of us had had a bad day we would grab the ice cream and vegetate while watching horror films. Back then it had been more of a challenge as Dad used to hide the really scary titles like Insidious and The Grudge. However Adrianna had always managed to find his weak hiding spots, normally they were just hidden on top of the wardrobe. Back then we would even share a bed; both too scared and traumatized after the deadly jumpscares and scarily masked villains.

“Do you know what, these people deserve to die,” Adrianna shook her head in disbelief, “How stupid can you get?”

I laughed at her running commentary; Adrianna always nitpicked at characters in horror films, probably because now she wasn’t scared of anything. If an axe murder came at her she would probably just punch him in the face without even flinching.

“Why are you staring at me?” Adrianna questioned without looking away from the film, “There’s a film on genius.”

“You just look…” I smirked, “You look happy.”

Adrianna did look happy; something had changed about her since she had been attending her counselling sessions, she seemed brighter; like she wasn’t carrying the weight of the world around with her anymore. Of course, she still had her wild side. I had helped her sneak out to her friend’s house party last night; but the difference was that she was actually telling me what was going on in her life…well, to some extent, but that was better than nothing.

Adrianna shrugged, her expression bashful, “I am I think.”

I smiled at her and shoved her shoulder with my own, “I’m glad.”

“God, please stop getting mushy.” Adrianna scoffed but she was smiling.

My attention turned back to the film, my head lolling on Adrianna’s shoulder slightly as I tried to fight off the sleep that was trying to pull me under. I had managed to complete most of my homework when I arrived home, it had taken almost all of my brain power to bring myself to finish off my maths questions. Fortunately, the confusing formulas had somewhat distracted me from my argument with Jared.

“Is that your phone vibrating?” Adrianna questioned sleepily.

I sat up slightly and frowned when I felt my phone vibrating under the pillow next to me. I fumbled around for it, finally locating the device down the side of the sofa. I winced at the bright light from the screen but stilled when I saw who was calling me.

Jared.

“Are you going to answer it?” Adrianna questioned slowly when I just stared at the screen. She had sat up now, smudging her eyeliner as she rubbed her eyes to see what was happening more clearly.

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly, my finger hovering over the accept button.

“Isn’t that your boyfriend?” Adrianna pressed suspiciously as she looked at my phone screen.

I swallowed hard at her question and thought about how horrible had been in the library. I clicked the decline button immediately and threw my phone to the side.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” I said decidedly.

Adrianna stared at me for a moment, obviously deciding her words carefully”Do you want to talk about it?” She offered cautiously.

I shook my head and forced myself to smile, “He’s an arsehole and I need to forget about him.”

“I see.” Adrianna grimaced.

“Come on, this is your favourite bit…she’s about to get crushed by the garage door.”

“So stupid.” Adrianna scoffed before she settled beside me once again.

Adrianna didn’t ask me about Jared for the rest of the night.

♥          ♥        ♥ 

The sound of my phone vibrating woke me up.

I glanced at the clock on my bedside table, the numbers ‘ 01:22’ blinked back at me in red. Jared’s name was on my phone screen once again. I groggily wiped my eyes as I pressed the decline button again. I shifted down under the covers once more, tossing my arm beneath my pillow as I closed my eyes.

My phone vibrated again.

“Go away arsehole.” I grumbled tiredly as I attempted to block out the annoying vibrating sound. My phone stopped briefly before it started up once again, the sound seemed to be getting louder and louder every time I ignored it.

“What?” I growled into the phone when it became clear that Jared was not going to give up. “Jared, what do you want?” I snapped when I was only met with silence, “Jared?”

I frowned when there was still no reply. I could make out the sound of music; however, it sounded faint.

“Jared, I’m going to hang up now,” I warned after a moment, some of my anger had now been replaced with concern.

“No, please, wait…”

His plea was strained.

I traced my lip as I contemplated what to say. I sat up in bed slightly and looked out the window. The moon was full and outlined my bookshelf and desk in silver.

“Are you ok?” I finally said because I couldn’t help myself.

He laughed bitterly, “Fuck no, I’m not.” He sniffed and I wondered if he was crying.

“Where are you?” I asked hesitantly.

“I’m at a bar,” He told me, “I’m drunk…and I need to see you.”

“You’re drunk?” I repeated in disappointed, “Jared, you can’t just call me at one in the morning because you’re drunk and alone, especially after what you said today-”

“No please, it’s not like that-”

“Then what is it like?” I snapped.

I was annoyed that he was calling me and even more annoyed that I was responding to his pain. Part of me just wanted to hang up and go to bed but I couldn’t deny that I was worried about Jared, and I was afraid of the state he would get himself into if I just hung up on him.

“I need someone Jade,” He breathed, “No, I need you.” He added, a slight slur to his voice, “I’m…I’m just a mess.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ Jared!” I sighed, now I knew he was crying when he sniffed again, “What’s the name of the bar.”

“The-” He groaned slightly, “The Alchemist.”

I got out of bed and began rummaging around in my draws. I balanced the phone in one hand while I wiggled into my jeans.

“Just stay put ok,” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at my next words, I’m such a bloody idiot, “I’m coming to meet you.”

“You…You are?” Jared sniffed, “Jade.”

I grabbed my hoodie from the end of my bed, silently cursing myself for being so stupid and running to Jared Felton’s beck and call. However deep down I knew that this wasn’t just some drunken call, Jared was a mess and he needed me. No matter how furious I was at him, I couldn’t ignore his cry for help.

“Yeah.” I admitted, my voice gentle this time, “So stay where you are ok?”

“Yeah, I will.” He promised me softly, “Thank you, Jade.”

I hung up and called a taxi, trying to ignore how my hands were shaking.